Eleven Lessons in Catholic Marriage

Nine out of ten people marry sooner or later — and probably you will be among those nine. Will you be happy in your married life? The answer rests to a very great extent in your own hands, upon how you prepare for happiness in marriage. Too many young couples expend time, money and energy in preparing solely for the wedding day, forgetting that the wedding day is but the introduction to a lifetime union. Marriage is a state of life that will yield dividends in happiness only in proportion as it is prepared for and lived up to.

I. THE PRESENT SITUATION

What is the general attitude today towards marriage? An observation is made concerning certain individual cases, then a general conclusion is drawn, usually unfavorable to marriage. But if we observe closely, we discover that happy homes exist in greater numbers than we think — by the very fact that they are normal, they do not draw attention. The unhappy homes make so much more noise with their quarrels and social disturbances that we notice them more.

Is it not because those who enter this state are frequently not sufficiently prepared for it, and having no idea of the obligations it entails, neglect to fulfil the duties it imposes? Is it not also because they have not kept control of their passions before marriage and so bring to their partner not a pure body and a lofty soul but a body that is spent and a soul that is self-centred?

FALSE MAXIMS — "You are only young once." As if that makes every wrong thing right. Thus adolescents keep company and go steady without serious intention. Then there is the flirt: when a couple have no serious intentions of marriage, what purpose is served by their becoming well acquainted? Since they do not intend to marry each other, it is only to pass time away. A faking of love occurs and when real love comes along, it is turned aside because one is not used to being generous, to giving oneself wholly and entirely without counting the cost.

FEAR OF CHILDREN — In every class of society a diabolical campaign is being waged against children. Among women the fear of motherhood is invoked; among men, selfishness furnishes a powerful argument. "Children are a burden; they cost a great deal; we couldn't give them the education they should have."

INFIDELITY — Conjugal fidelity is often presumed to be absolutely impossible. Yet Catholic morality is the way pointed out by God to win true happiness.

II. THE CHRISTIAN IDEAL

The attraction which draws two people of different sexes into an intimate union and which leads them to give themselves entirely to each other forever in marriage — is a gift from heaven. God Himself, Who is all love, creates this conjugal love. Since we are made up of body, mind and soul, conjugal love should be simultaneously physical, spiritual, and supernatural. The union of two persons in Christian marriage is something unique on the face of the earth.

COURTSHIP — Inspired by such love, courtship assumes a new aspect. Young people meet not exclusively to enjoy each other (which might become very dangerous) but to become better acquainted in view of a possible future marriage. They are fortunate who enter marriage with all the freshness of innocence still in their soul — these are marriages that nothing can break up.

FIDELITY — At the foot of the altar both parties pronounce a solemn vow of mutual fidelity. The vigorous religious life of husband and wife gives all possible assurance to human frailty that this vow will be kept until death. For those who come to marriage with hearts fresh and pure, fidelity is quite easy.

THE CHILD — A GIFT OF HEAVEN — The child is a living résumé of father and mother, a continuation of their life. Regenerated in Baptism, the little creature becomes a child of God and of the Church. The parents have given a soul to God, a citizen to the state, a Christian to the Church, and a saint to our Lord.

SACRAMENTAL GRACE — "Matrimony is the Sacrament by which a baptized man and a baptized woman bind themselves for life in a lawful marriage and receive the grace to discharge their duties." Marriage is not only a Sacrament with passing effects; it is a state of life produced and established by a Sacrament, the effects of which last as long as the marriage itself.

III. THE REMEDY

We must realize that we shall never prepare ourselves for a happy and fruitful marriage merely by an intellectual grasp of the moral dangers around us. We must in addition be ever on our guard against dangers, by prayer, through frequent reception of the Sacraments, and sincere and constant efforts to practise virtue.

Pope Pius XI in Casti Connubii: "It is of the utmost importance that the faithful should be well instructed concerning matrimony — both by word of mouth and by the written word, not cursorily but often and fully, by means of plain and weighty arguments, so that these truths will strike the intellect and will be deeply engraved on their hearts."

The fifteen-lesson correspondence course organized by the Catholic Centre of the University of Ottawa addresses: the religious, moral, medical, psychological, economic, social, and legal aspects of marriage. Specialists prepared the lessons — shunning the sensational which seeks to provoke the passions, placing the various elements of married life in their proper perspective.

The choice of a companion is one of the most serious responsibilities incumbent upon young persons entertaining dreams of married life. If young people would only go about this matter by letting their head, rather than their heart, decide the choice, and if they would heed the advice of heads wiser than their own, the modern method would seem more sensible.

REASONS FOR A GOOD CHOICE — Young man, young woman: once you join yourselves to each other in marriage your manner of life must change. There will be two of you, two leading one life, each for the other. A member of the Canadian hierarchy said: "Pray to God for light in determining your future husband or wife. It's so very important! Either both of you will find your eternal resting-place in Heaven, or both of you will be consigned to the fires that refuse to be quenched."

Never forget for one moment that the girl you ask to be your wife will also be the mother of your children; when you say "yes" to the all-important question, remember that the father of your children will be no other than the young man who has led you up to the altar.

TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER — Happy is the young person wise enough to seek the advice of an older and more experienced person. In studying the character and temperament of your future spouse, don't let love — or rather infatuation — come tripping into your consideration. If it does, it will blind you to anything you do not want to see.

I. PHYSICAL ASPECT

HEALTH — For both husband and wife, this is an important consideration. The father is expected to be the bread-winner of the family. The mother must take care of the children and keep the house in a becoming manner. A conscientious doctor is the most competent judge of your health before contracting marriage.

AGE — Natural sentiment demands that the husband be a bit older than the wife. The ideal age seems to be about 26 for the man, 22 for the woman — though this varies with different people and under different circumstances.

MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY — Every young person wants to marry someone who is every inch of their own sex. A woman's greatest glory will ever be that of being a real woman according to the perfect model given by the Mother of us all, Mary, the Mother of Christ.

II. INTELLECTUAL ASPECT

INTELLECTUAL EQUALITY — Husband and wife should belong to an approximately equal level in the intellectual sphere. Otherwise, interchange of ideas will be difficult. When hubby comes home from work, Mary will be able to meet his problems with something more than a blank stare. A husband has every right to expect intelligent and sympathetic understanding from his wife.

PROFESSIONAL COMPETENCE — Whether tilling the soil or sitting behind a desk, a man must be competent in the work he undertakes. The wife must prove a real mother in a real home: skill in housekeeping, cooking, sewing, and everything else that goes to make a home out of a house.

III. MORAL ASPECT

AFFECTION — Love is the greatest unifying force at our command. Of its very nature it tends to unite the lover with the one loved. Egoism, coldness, a rapid change of moods, lack of the delicate touch in the little amenities of life — all deal a death-blow to the love that should blossom from the union of man and wife.

ECONOMY — Only the economical man will salt a little away from each week's pay-check with an eye to the future. The man who knows how to look ahead will make provision for the education of his children as well as for possible sickness. The wife is likewise called upon to practise it: things that come from the ingenuity of a woman who depends on herself always have about them a charm never achievable in "store-bought" goods.

"No man can serve two masters. You cannot serve God and Mammon. Seek first the kingdom of God and His justice, and all these things shall be given you besides." — Our Lord, Matthew 6

TEMPERANCE — The abuse of intoxicating liquors is a cause of tears and eventual ruin of many households. Competent doctors do not hesitate to assert that the evil consequences of such demoralizing habits can affect even the fourth or fifth generation of offspring. By temperance is meant taking only as much as sane reason dictates — not abstinence necessarily.

PURITY — Marriage is much more than the mere union of bodies; it is above all the union of two souls. A person who puts too much accent on sex cannot arouse in his soul the lofty sentiments of true love. Company-keeping on an honest, high moral level is one of the best guarantees of a happy marriage.

LOYALTY — No sincere union is possible without absolute frankness and loyalty on both sides. Mutual confidence begets and nourishes mutual love.

IV. RELIGIOUS ASPECT

SPIRIT OF FAITH AND PIETY — As far as the Christian spirit is concerned, both the man and his wife should have a strong and lively faith. The piety of a good mother is often the only instrument that taps effectively the sources of grace for her husband and children.

FREQUENT RECEPTION OF THE SACRAMENTS — Find out how your future husband or wife feels about the sacraments, and how often he or she approaches them. It would be quite normal to agree upon weekly Communion as a regular program of your married life. Begin during the engagement. Take the habit of going to Communion together, thereby laying the beginnings of a family liturgy.

IDEAL OF SANCTIFICATION — Marriage is a supernatural vocation, coming from God as much as the vocation to the Priesthood or to the religious life. It is a sacramental state of life; it imparts all the graces necessary to lead to real heights of sanctity those who partake of it.

AN ERROR TO AVOID — Mixed marriages are becoming more and more frequent in our day. They are dangerous — so dangerous that even Protestant ministers have come out strongly in opposition to them. There can be no real union of two souls if they do not meet on the same religious ground, if one of them lives in constant error as to the most essential thing in life.

CONCLUSION — Your choice of a life's companion is of prime importance. When you are convinced that your marriage with a certain person will not succeed, there is only one thing for you to do: break off the relations. If, on the other hand, you are quite sure of a happy marriage, your first task is to set to work correcting your own faults and defects, conforming your character to the Christian ideal.

This lesson distinguishes between selfish love and divine love. Genuine conjugal affection "considers only the welfare and happiness of the beloved without counting the cost to oneself."

1. Physical attraction between opposite sexes, distinct from other human attractions — the element that is necessary and will make possible the transmission of life 2. The spiritual element, uniting intelligences and free wills through shared principles and friendship — by this is gauged the solidity of the union 3. The supernatural element, elevating the union through sacramental grace — love which unites two souls living in the state of grace supernaturalizes this noble human love

These elements exist in proper hierarchy, with supernatural love as dominant, followed by spiritual, then physical attraction. Both extremes are to be avoided: entirely sexual love seeking only "pleasures of the flesh," and disincarnate love that excludes sensitive elements entirely.

PURIFICATION OF LOVE — Early romantic love requires maturation. Initial emotional intensity naturally diminishes, creating "a period of aridity" where couples must develop deeper, more stable affection transcending fleeting emotions. This purification is natural and necessary.

TRUE HAPPINESS — True happiness emerges from "peace and plenitude permanently established in the depths of the soul," not from external amusements or material possessions. The teaching emphasizes that observing the moral laws governing sexuality — rather than restricting happiness — actually guarantees it.

DIFFERENCES IN CONJUGAL LOVE — Men and women express and receive love differently due to their distinct vocations and psychology. The husband loves more aggressively, seeking to give and provide; the wife loves more receptively, desiring to be cherished. Both must understand these differences to prevent misunderstandings about expressions of love and commitment.

Marriage preparation consists of remote preparation (Christian habits and character development) and immediate preparation — both material aspects (finances, home setup) and spiritual preparation through courtship.

I. COURTSHIP

NATURE AND PURPOSE — Courtship is "regular and attentive visits of a young man with a young woman for the purpose of mutual understanding" with marriage as the intended goal. Pope Pius XI stressed careful deliberation in choosing a marriage partner, noting that the choice significantly affects whether a marriage will be happy or unhappy.

Young people should develop genuine knowledge of each other's character, including weaknesses and faults that might affect the union. Dishonesty during courtship — concealing financial conditions, physical disabilities, or character flaws — is condemned as disloyal.

Seriousness: Courtship demands respect for moral laws. The rationalization that "everybody does it" regarding physical liberties is condemned. Entering marriage in a state of sin prevents God's blessing on the home.

Duration: Normally one year is sufficient for mutual understanding. Extended courtships lasting five to ten years should be discouraged as they often lead to sin. Young people still in school should avoid "going steady."

Faithfulness: Loyalty requires remaining true to one partner during courtship.

SCENE OF COURTSHIP — Courtship should normally occur at the girl's parents' home under parental supervision. Courtship in restaurants, streets, parks, automobiles, private rooms, or nightclubs is condemned as creating too immediate occasions of sin.

a) The Religious Question — Mixed marriages are described as "a real disaster." Regular religious practice must be discussed: reception of sacraments, Sunday Mass, observance of God's and the Church's commandments, and a joint intention to grow in love of God.

c) The Question of the Family Budget — Money management requires clear pre-marriage understanding about distribution, spending practices, and each spouse's role. "Good reckonings make for good friends, in marriage as elsewhere."

d) The Question of Social Relations — Home life should be prioritized over clubs, parties, and social engagements. "A man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife." Both spouses should work to make the home attractive.

The "in-law question" requires frank discussion from the beginning. As the Gospel indicates, the couple's primary duty after marriage is to their new family.

II. ENGAGEMENTS

NATURE AND KINDS — An engagement is "an agreement made with one of the opposite sex, to contract marriage with him or her." There are solemn (canonical) engagements through the Church and simple/private engagements.

SOLEMN ENGAGEMENT (CANONICAL) — Conditions of Validity: Any promise of marriage must be made in writing and signed by the future partners and by the Pastor or Ordinary of the place (or at least two witnesses). The contract must be dated. Violation without reasonable motive does not compel marriage but allows claims for damages.

SIMPLE ENGAGEMENT — A simple engagement lacks one or more conditions of a solemn engagement. Critically: "a simple engagement obliges no one, not only in the eyes of the Church, not even in conscience, nor as a point of honor, to contract marriage."

DURING ENGAGEMENT — Engaged couples must maintain faithfulness. An engagement does not break down all reserve or confer marital rights. As the wedding approaches, couples should "strive to remain pure, to be well prepared" through prayer together, shared Communion, and mutual sacrifice to support chastity.

The ideal described is marriage by those with "a chaste heart, a pure and noble soul, which did not seek happiness through gratification of the passions, but found its happiness in the companionship of the chosen one, courted under the eyes of God and Mary most pure."

ENTHRONEMENT OF THE SACRED HEART — This is "the Official and Social Recognition of the loving Kingship of the Heart of Jesus in a Christian family." Christ's promise: "Being Myself the fount of all blessings, I will distribute these abundantly wherever the image of My Heart has found a place." Through the Enthronement, "the Heart of Jesus will become little by little the divine soul of the family."

Marital happiness depends on mutual understanding between spouses, achieved through recognizing fundamental psychological differences between men and women rooted in their distinct vocations.

MAN'S VOCATION — Men are called to lead families and society. God provides men with strength physically, reasoning intellectually, and procreative and protective love emotionally to fulfill this role. The masculine intellect approaches problems systematically: "slow, cold, exact knowledge."

WOMAN'S VOCATION — Women are ordained for motherhood — physical or spiritual. They receive gentleness physically, intuition intellectually, and devotedness emotionally. The feminine intellect possesses intuition: "spontaneous, warm, colorful" understanding grasping details and context immediately.

PHYSICAL ASPECTS — Men possess greater overall strength with developed upper bodies for labor. Women have more physical suppleness and developed lower extremities for childbearing. The text cautions women against imitating masculine traits: "Be feminine! It's your grandest characteristic, your greatest attraction."

INTELLECTUAL ASPECTS — Men view situations generally; women focus on particulars. Both perspectives are necessary and complementary. Men employ reasoning from principles to conclusions; women often arrive at the correct conclusion by a surer but less demonstrable path.

EMOTIONAL ASPECTS — Men love aggressively, seeking conquest and showing affection through giving and providing. Women love receptively, desiring to be cherished and showing affection through acceptance and faithfulness.

PRACTICAL GUIDANCE — The lesson recommends open communication about problems, patience with differences, and reliance on sacramental grace for navigating marital challenges. Neither sex should be considered superior to the other — each excels in the God-given vocation assigned to it; each limps when it adopts the habits and mannerisms of the opposite sex.

The family is the first cell, the basic unit of all society. It may be considered under several aspects: the religious, the educational, the social, the cultural, and the economic. This lesson deals with the economic aspect: the family considered as an enterprise where supernatural interests and temporal, financial interests are at stake.

THE ROLE OF MONEY — Money, with all that it can buy, forms an important contribution to family life — but only if kept in its proper relation to other things. "Marriage is an enterprise that concerns itself with human profits, seeking primarily the spiritual happiness and welfare of the family members." Money is a material means — but only a means.

God created us "to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this life, and to be happy with Him forever in the next." We must be careful not to lapse into that materialistic frame of mind that elevates money to a god-like status. Possessing the correct attitude, even a millionaire may be "poor in spirit."

IMPORTANCE OF THE ECONOMIC ASPECT — Marriage, from a material point of view, is a business — the main purpose of which is to establish and maintain a home. In this business, the two young partners pool all their resources (youth, love, material possessions, faith and hope) for their own welfare and that of the children to come.

a) Promotes harmony: Thorough preparation beforehand on the part of both the young man and woman would readily settle most questions concerning money and avoid many bitter quarrels.

b) Eliminates worries: A budget, planned according to income and standard of living, together with economy practiced by both, will eliminate many causes of worry and useless annoyance.

c) Constitutes excellent training: "The valiant woman of whom Scripture speaks in the Book of Wisdom was an excellent housewife, who surpassed other women by capably accomplishing all the duties exacted by the care of a family."

Qualities of mind: Be interested in the economic preparation of your future home. Do not hesitate to make use of books, magazines, and good newspapers. Fortunes do not usually fall ready-made from heaven.

Qualities of heart: The first is courage — in the face of duty, in the accomplishment of work, in the face of difficulties. "Anyone is glad to help a man in need if that man is courageous and a good worker." The second is economy: "Fortunes are made by gathering cents."

ACQUIRING MATERIAL GOODS — Open a savings account in a bank. Take out a good insurance policy.

REVENUES AND EXPENDITURES — The family enterprise has revenues in money (salary of the father, rent from properties), revenues in service (all work done by family members around the home: cooking, cleaning, sewing, washing), and revenues in social services (municipal, provincial, federal services). Under expenditures are listed food, clothes, rent, fuel, medicine, schooling, insurance. In domestic economy, skill consists not only in organizing so that expenditures will not exceed income — it consists further in watching the use of revenues so that they may provide the necessities of life and assure more comfort and pleasure in the home.

AGREEMENT OF IDEAS — The most important point is to come to an agreement concerning economic preparation. The engaged couple, coming from different families, will not necessarily consider financial problems in the same way. At all costs, they must know each other's outlook on financial matters.

"Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the Church ... So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies."

How marvelous, sublime and unique is the union of husband and wife in a marriage that is truly Christian. The first Christians were keenly aware of this resemblance, and in their lives as in their words, they proclaimed it with an ardor as inspired as that of St. Paul.

We, in this century, need to return to the early concept of Christian marriage. We must discard the prevalent false notion that holiness of life is something for priests and religious only, that these have a monopoly on perfection. Christian marriage as a way of life is a definite means through which to become perfect, a way of life wherein extraordinary virtues can be developed and practiced.

I. THE HOLY STATE OF MATRIMONY

THE ABC'S OF MARRIAGE — Marriage belongs completely to God. It is something entirely in His hands. Once we understand this, we possess the first essential fact concerning the nature of marriage. Like the priesthood, marriage has been instituted by God. It is His concern primarily, and this concern takes priority over any and all human interests. Seen from this point of view, it becomes a state designed by God to lead the individual members of the family to holiness of life.

MISTAKEN NOTIONS — Christian marriage is not something to be looked down upon as a concession to those who are not called to the exalted dignity of the priesthood. It is not something merely tolerated or permitted. It is a way of life designated for us by God as the means of our salvation. The moment we take marriage away from God and place it under the unrestricted control of man, we open the door to serious abuses.

MATRIMONY: A SACRAMENT INSTITUTED BY GOD — When Our Lord came to earth, He instituted the seven sacraments as the channels of His grace. In instituting the Sacrament of Matrimony, Christ simply took the natural contract of the Old Law and made the Sacrament identical with the natural contract. Henceforth, the very act of mutual consent by which a Christian man and woman become husband and wife became capable of giving them grace.

The Sacrament itself consists of the mutual consent expressed in the marriage vows (a transitory act on their wedding day), while the sacramental state is the married life — the permanent, indissoluble union resulting from the first consent. It is a state that God intends to endure "until death do us part." The effect of the Sacrament continues and endures after it has been conferred.

MARRIED COUPLE: CO-WORKERS WITH GOD — The sacramental dignity of Christian marriage greatly elevates it above the merely natural contract. The couple are themselves the ministers of their own Sacrament — each giving it to the other through their spoken "I will." In this way they are themselves the instruments and servants of God.

MARRIED COUPLE: IMITATORS OF CHRIST — Christ wants the couple's consent and sacramental union to be a living replica of what He is Himself. In all Christian tradition, beginning with St. Paul, Christian marriage has always been regarded as being a profound spiritual reality, modeled upon the union of Christ with His Church.

II. FAITHFULNESS TO THE MARRIAGE STATE

SAY "YES" TO LIFE — God's chief purpose in calling men and women to unite in marriage is that they propagate life. This pleasure is normal and permissible — a powerful instrument in strengthening the marriage bond — but it is a pleasure to be taken within the limits outlined by God. It must never be sought solely for itself, to the point where it gratifies the desire for pleasure while excluding new life.

"The fundamental condition of true Christian marriage is the granting of life to others, the acceptance and welcome of children. It is the glad anticipation of other children — not their prevention or postponement as though they were unwelcome intruders. Say 'YES' to the life that is awaiting your cooperative consent."

TO TRAIN SOULS — Married couples greatly increase in nobility when they respect that power over life with which God has endowed them. How much more ennobling is their task of forming, instructing and training souls — souls that have an eternal inheritance. These children, soul and body, are only entrusted to the parents by God. They are on loan to the parents who in turn are called upon to mould those young lives so as to reproduce in them the character of Christ.

DRAW ON GRACE — "Married couples are never alone; they are not left to their own resources. They have God for them, they have God with them — as much as they want Him." The presence of God, resulting from the Sacrament, lasts forever. His grace is offered at every moment and is especially adapted to meet the particular needs of married life. Therein lies the great secret of Christian marriage.

OUR EYES TOWARDS OUR MODEL — "Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the Church, and delivered Himself up for it ... So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies." (Ephesians 5)

Conjugal love grows according to a well-defined law wherein the husband is acknowledged as head of the wife, just as Christ is the Head of His Church. The husband is the head; the wife is the heart. Head and heart, understanding and love, all combine to bring about the peace and fruitfulness that makes the home.

The Catholic Church has but one major purpose: to assure the eternal salvation of her members by showing them how to live a happy, meritorious life. Because marriage is a very serious matter, the Church takes great precautions in formulating her laws concerning it.

MARRIAGE IS A SACRAMENT — Matrimony between two baptized persons is a sacramental contract. The contract and the Sacrament are inseparable — the contract IS the Sacrament. We are free to marry, but because the institution of Matrimony is of divine origin, once the vows have been pronounced, we can neither modify nor annul the contract. The conditions are set by God.

CONSENT — Marriage is a contract, and this contract consists essentially in the mutual consent of the husband and wife. This consent must be: (1) deliberate — given with sufficient knowledge; (2) free — no marriage contracted under unjust fear is valid; (3) mutual — a reciprocal contract; (4) exterior — manifested by the "I will"; (5) unconditional — any condition opposed to the nature or essential qualities of marriage renders the marriage null.

THE PRENUPTIAL INQUIRY — See your pastor at least one month before the celebration of the marriage. Bring: identification papers, baptismal certificate (no earlier than six months previous), confirmation certificate, parental consent if under 21, death certificate of former spouse if widowed.

The pastor questions the future spouses concerning: impediments both civil and religious, freedom to contract marriage, affiliation with condemned societies, Christian doctrine and its fundamental teachings concerning marriage (unity, indissolubility, right intention, mutual obligations), and the exchange of medical certificates.

FORM OF THE MARRIAGE — Every Catholic (or former Catholic) is bound under pain of nullity to marry in the presence of the pastor (or his delegate) and at least two witnesses. This is fundamental for the validity of the marriage.

DECLARATION OF NULLITY — When a diriment impediment has not been uncovered before marriage and no dispensation has been granted, the Church by means of its tribunals declares such a marriage null. This does not mean the Church dissolves a previously valid marriage. It declares officially that what seemed to be a marriage never was a real, true marriage.

In a divorce action, the civil judge says: "I declare that from this moment the bond of marriage is broken." In a declaration of nullity, the ecclesiastical judge says: "It is evident that you never were married, your union never had the character of a marriage regardless of appearances."

"Follow the laws of Christ and His Church on marriage, and happiness will be yours in this world and in the next."

Marriage represents "a contract by which a man and woman dedicate themselves to each other for life for the purpose of founding a home." For baptized individuals, this contract becomes a Sacrament under Catholic teaching.

CIVIL VS. ECCLESIASTICAL AUTHORITY — While the Church has jurisdiction over the sacramental aspects of marriage between baptized persons, civil authorities appropriately regulate "the temporal rights and liabilities arising out of marriage." The instruction advises Catholics to "abide by the laws of their state or province or country as long as these laws are not opposed to the teachings of their faith."

PRE-MARRIAGE REQUIREMENTS — States typically mandate: a declaration of intention to marry; a marriage license; parental consent for minors; investigation confirming capacity to marry; proof of freedom from prior valid marriages.

WILLS AND TESTAMENTS — The lesson emphasizes wills as essential acts of foresight ensuring family security after death. Legal forms include nuncupative (oral), holograph (handwritten), Common Law (witnessed), and notarial variations. "Home-made" wills frequently generate litigation consuming estates through legal costs — competent legal counsel is advocated.

PRE-CEREMONY PREPARATION — Visit the parish "at least a month before the date" of the wedding to arrange details and complete prenuptial requirements. The bride is urged to take rest before marrying, especially if she has been working, as "the health of the children to come is at stake."

SPIRITUAL REQUIREMENTS — Marriage as a "Sacrament of the living" requires the couple to be in a state of grace. The text strongly urges confession before the wedding — either immediately prior or the evening before — describing it as an opportunity for a "general confession to cover all their past life." To receive this Sacrament in mortal sin would be a grave sacrilege.

THE NUPTIAL BLESSING — The traditional nuptial blessing from the Roman Liturgy is a prayer of great beauty, invoking God's blessing on the couple, asking that the wife be yoked to her husband with the bond of love and chastity, and praying for the couple's perseverance in God's grace until their deaths.

THE RECEPTION — Should be maintained simple and in keeping with Christian simplicity. Excesses of drinking, dancing, and expense are to be avoided. The purpose of the reception is to celebrate the holy union, not to impress the world.

THE HONEYMOON — Should be a quiet time for the couple to begin their life together — "a time of tranquility and recollection rather than a whirl of excitement." Practical advice: the couple should establish an independent home as soon as possible, not living with either set of parents. The wife should focus on making the home rather than outside employment.

POST-CEREMONY GUIDANCE — Having received the Sacrament, the couple should recognize that the graces of the Sacrament are now available to them at every moment. They are to draw upon these graces through prayer, frequent reception of the sacraments, and the faithful fulfillment of their marital duties.

"Because God intends the body to be the instrument that He uses to create more children, we must therefore have a very great respect for our body, and love it and give it the care it requires."

PARENTAL GUIDANCE ON PURITY — Parents should control home furnishings by excluding suggestive images while displaying holy pictures. "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks" — encouraging spiritually-focused conversations. Regular family rosary, Mass, and Communion are identified as binding forces for family life.

THE PERSONAL ROLE OF PURITY — "A chaste young man, a pure young woman — therein lies the promise of a marriage that will be happy, fruitful, and blessed by God." The sex instinct should be "ruled by an affection which sublimates it."

Before marriage, the virtue of chastity preserves the natural vigor of the life-force. After marriage, conjugal chastity moderates the use of the marriage right and ensures that the couple cooperates with God's creative plan rather than frustrating it.

THE SOCIAL ROLE OF PURITY — "Purity is highly contagious." The example of the pure exercises a powerful influence on those around them. The pure young man or woman becomes a witness to a higher way of life that many instinctively recognize as noble.

MORTIFICATION AND CHASTITY — The virtue of purity is not achieved without effort. Three traditional remedies are presented in the tradition: physical mortification (fasting, discipline of the body), psychological vigilance (custody of the eyes and imagination), and spiritual practice (prayer, frequent confession, the Eucharist, devotion to Our Lady). Of these, devotion to Mary is particularly commended as the surest safeguard of purity both before and within marriage.